albinwonderland:

I was standing in the bathroom with my 8-year-old niece and she saw me adjusting my top and said, completely serious and curious,

“Why do you want to look good?”

it took me aback for a moment.

“Sometimes because I want to. Sometimes because I feel like I should.”

“That’s silly. See, I have sap all over my hands?” she showed me her hands, “and see I don’t even care! Because it doesn’t matter. Sap happens.”

expertcosmotips:

make him coupons for a free sensual massage that expire the day before you give them to him

pontmercyanide:

some flowers just arrived for my sister but my mom thought they were for me.

and so she asked if they were from henry and of course i asked what the hell she was talking about

and she was like “henry, the boy you’re always talking about.”

she meant henry david thoreau.

i quote henry david thoreau so much my mom thought henry david thoreau was my boyfriend

(via whatdidyoudobecca)